this is hard

I get why people don't do this. At least, the way we're trying to do it. It's hard. We're totally upsetting the stable, comfortable life we made. There isn't a moment we question our choice to sell and go. That, we know with out a doubt. We're being called out into the world. Out into the uncertain. We know the world is wide and wonderful and the only taste we can get here, is filtered through the "news" which has an agenda other than truth-telling. 

We have no delusions of the struggles we'll have. From stomach upset, to sick days in bed and 12 hour bus rides with no pee breaks--to trying to make sense of cultural differences that shock us initially. We're going to be stretched beyond our first world comfort zone. I will cry, we will have moments of chaos and it will be worth it. Regular little labors of self-expansion--that is what we crave.

I've been so in to our process of getting ready, that I haven't felt like writing. We've hired a realtor and picked a date for market. A month later than we thought initially. We've hired painters, yard help, and other people to help us meet our deadline. Even though the market in Portland is "hot," our house is zoned for 2 properties so it behooves us to make it appealing to people, not developers. We do not want to sell a member of our family to someone who will demolish her, a 105 year old home, just to make a profit on two ticky-tacky boxes. 

People are so great that they ask us about our impending trip, but we've barely had time to plan. So we don't have much to report. The day we leave Portland, we'll drive through San Francisco to see loved ones, then onto Los Angeles to see my dad. He's helping out as our bank liaison, send-us-things-we-need person. So we will set up some bank accounts in L.A. and get in lots of hugs. Then off to upstate New York to see John's parents and friends. We'll get some hugs in there and then fly to Colombia by way of Toronto. 

When John and I married in 2013, we had a mini-moon (a couple days in Hood River), but never took a honeymoon. Our plan is to honeymoon in Colombia. Unless we're inspired to be altruistic while there, we're not planning any volunteering that first month. John's been researching the places we want to visit, one of my goals is to climb El Peñón de Guatapé ideally on a not-so-touristy day. 

We gave our couch away today and I am growing sentimental as we move things from shelves into boxes that we wont open for more than a year. We're not keeping much, but what we are keeping is meaningful. Family china and silver, wedding album, photos, paintings, etc. 

We're on each other's nerves these days. Understandably. We're tired and stretched. John is amazing and doing so much manual labor (sanding, painting, drilling, washing) he aches at night and doesn't sleep well. When I am home on the weekends and at night, I take charge of cleaning and dividing items into: Sell, keep, donate. Then take those items to donate to their respective places. I've been under the weather the last week and a half with a chronic sinus headache, which doesn't help my energy or mood. 

The 100 degree heat this weekend poses some issues. We'd planned to prep the upstairs for painting, but its oppressively hot up there, so we've altered plans to spend time in the basement. This process is all about plans and timelines and rigidity AND... flexibility. 

This is hard. I wont lie. Its hard to spend every waking (and sometimes sleeping) moment thinking about prepping, selling, packing, storing, planning a trip... while having a full time job. It is very much a first world issue. We keep it in perspective. But it is easy to feel tired and cranky. And the more we work on our house the more we know we're tiny house people. This house is way too big and way too old for us. We're not the kind of people who want to spend time fixing up the yard or house... we'd rather be camping. So the process of preparing our house to sell only confirms that this is the right choice for us. Even if we didn't go on the Big Trip... we would want to live somewhere smaller, newer with fewer needs. And by newer, I'm talkin' mid-century. 105 is cute and charming but requires a lot of tuning up. 

So this is our update for now. I hope to have the energy to update more often. 


Blythe and John